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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Shut up or leave.

Those were the first words spoken to me when I was in Marine Corps bootcamp. Of course I cried like a baby because I was like-"You JUST HURT MY FEELINGS, WAAAAH!!" But seriously I was in bootcamp and I needed to toughen up a bit. Back at home-I was a spoiled brat. Now-of course I'm not, I've worked my butt off to get to where I am. And I'm still not there....but very close. Which makes me push even further. I can't even tell you how many times people tried to knock me down-heck-people have *tried* to do it to me in this past week numerous times! But I WILL not let it happen. There are certain things in my life that I KNOW work. And there are things that I know DON'T work. One thing is-you can't expect to be coddled forever. If you feel like you are going to cry at the drop of a hat when you get critiqued for anything-you need some help. I got help when I needed it-and no it wasn't just the Marines from where I got help. Everyone is wired up differently-but you can hone your skills and your DNA (Determined Natural Ambition) and use it for the greater GOOD-and not to have a pity party. If you are sensitive-that is fine! But you must learn how to use that personality trait to better yourself and the people around you. If you use it for crying and complaining-you are screwing yourself and your career/dreams. You can actually use that trait to be a empathetic loving person towards others. To help people who need it. But you have to understand not everyone will respond to this.
*Sorry sister-this will not always work*

Understanding others personalities is a very hard thing to do. It's an everlearning process for everyone. You talk to everyone differently, bottom line, even if you don't really know it. Because deep inside, you know how to get the response you want out of them. BUT. And this is a big BUT. If you are trying to get people to see your goals and dreams and aspirations-and they do not have the same VISION-then you are pretty much screwed. But don't cause a shit storm over it. Move on. Learn from it. It's probably in your best interest. You need to have like minded people around you that have these same goals, dreams, and aspirations. But oil and water never mix-so if that's the case in your inner circle of success partners-take a good hard look and know when to make your graceful exit.
Give credit to where credit is due. My drill instructors who I borderline HATED in the beginning-actually became my role models and mentors in the end. By the time bootcamp was near it's end-I looked up to them and completely admired them for toughening me up, and changing my outlook on life. That I actually have the power within me not to use anyone else as a crutch. I thanked them immensely. I never brought up when they "hurt" my feelings. I never doubted them as leaders. They DID lead me into being a more well rounded individual. They showed me what it was like to be emotionally and physically strong. They showed me how to be independent and confident in my abilities. But never, ever did I once question the madness. I learned, I cried, I overcame. And I am OH so thankful that someone was out there to point out my flaws and tell me what I needed to do to change them.

I went to my first ever "improv" acting class this past week. I am not going to lie-I almost walked out! I was so scared of being silly and loud and obnoxious in front of everyone. In our very first exercise, the director of the agency would stop at me every time, and say (loudly)-"NO DEMI, DO IT AGAIN." And over and over and over this occured. He then said "I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE IN YOU. PUT IT OUT THERE AND USE IT." It seriously was a major slap in the face for me. I was pissed off. But I begrudgingly accepted my fate of the day of this crazy class and just let it go. What an amazing feeling that was! I never thought I could do any of that in front of people-just let everything go and let my DNA shine on through. But I did, and I am so much better for it! And for this I was offered to audition as the female lead in a movie. Is that crazy or what?! It just goes to show-YOU have much more than you think you do inside-and if someone pushes you-LET THEM. Don't take offense to it-or else it will get you NO WHERE. You will get back tracked and stay the same way. Life is about progression in your attitudes and beliefs. If someone is pushing you and "hurting" your feelings-there probably is a reason why. They see something in you that you probably don't see. If you don't accept that challenge-you will remain stagnant in life. And don't ever think you can do any of "this" on your own. You will fail.
Support is crucial. Accept it or don't. It's on YOU.

Demi Bean