sort of not health related

Today I had a panick attack. This morning specifically.

Something triggered me.

Now, I haven't had one in a LONG TIME...but sometimes, it does happen. I can't get my breath, I start shaking, I feel like the world is going to end, I feel like I am going to die, and I eventually need medicine to calm me the F down. I have medicine on hand if I ever need it. Sometimes there are things that happen that holistic care just can't take care of, unfortunately. I will say though that after getting healthier-they have lessened ALOT. But when they do happen-I am ready with medicine specfifically for this. And I have to lay down, for a long time. It sucks, and I hate them. But everyone has their issues, and I'm not going to pretend life is great all the time, because it's not. There are ways to present yourself to the world that is honest and relateable, and even in a positive way. Not the "woe is me" but more like "wow, this happened to me today, can a sister get some support?" And I move on...eventually (after meds wear off).

I missed my hair appt today. Which sucks because my hair is a lions mane right now-but I know I could get it done whenever. It's just hair. I think I may have had a dentist appt too today. But whatever, it's just teeth. Plus, it gives me more time to floss and make the dentist think I floss all the time, when in reality, I only floss the week before the appt. Don't judge.

So yeah, this is me, not perfect,not shiny. And I will never portray that I am. I am glad I did my workout early this morning, because Lord knows I wouldn't do it now. Another plus to early morning workouts-you never know when a panick attack is going to ruin your day, so better get it out of the way. I probably spelled a million things wrong in this post. Whatever.

I'll blog when I'm more coherent. who knows.
Bye for now. DB