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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Poop, periods, and balls

I've come to the conclusion that the following is all you want to read about on this blog. When I do write about them-you guys go apesh*t. Freaks.

1) Poop. I'm a big fan of it. If I don't go at least 4.5 times a day, I know there is something wrong. Like, "Oh no, I might have to take that little blue pill that makes me poo for 3 hours straight tomorrow morning." Gotta say-since starting Shakeology though, I haven't had to take the demon blue pill. I never get bloated with POO and I POO at least 4.5 times a day, sometimes more. It's fabulous. Remember when Dr. Oz talked about how your poo should come out in the shape of an "S", like all the time? Mine is like that all the time! HOLLA! I am the POO QUEEN. (You know you look at it when you are done-if you say you don't, you lie). Get your poop magic HERE. Just remember to get it on Home Direct to save $15/month in shipping.

2)Periods. OK, this is not one of "my favorite things" as Oprah would say. But I feel if I talk about it sometimes, I get comraderie from my sistahs out there who feel my pain. Oh and you'll hear about my menstrual happenings probably every 30 days like clockwork on this blog. Sorry dudes. BLOOD COMES OUT OF VAGINAS EVERY MONTH (usually). Deal with it.

3) BALLS. I'm talking about SHAKEOLOGY balls you sickos. Not schwetty balls, not hairy balls, not salty balls (vom), or anything similar. Take Shakeology, PB2 (fat free peanut butter, sent from God himself), some honey (optional), and almond milk until it's all fudgy. Roll BALLS in shredded coconut. Chill in fridge. Delicious chocolatey magic. In ball formation.

Ok, did I cover all of your twisted blog desires? I'll probably lose like 10 followers with this one.

I'll blog later with something more appropriate. Maybe.



Jeramie said...

Hahaha!!!! I love it!!! Seriously though, its all a part of life. We should just deal with it all! Wish I could get my pooper to work more efficiently. Been drinking lots of prune juice lately...

stewbie2 said...

Yep, still here. If you can't talk about poop, balls, and periods, then you just shouldn't blog. And yes, Shakeology is awesome. I, too, am a Poop Queen--and quite proud of it. We should have shirts made.

Demi Eliese said...

stewbie that is best idea EVER. "poop queens" REJOICE. with a tiara. that'll make it ladylike.