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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Skittles, vodka, and how rainbows taste

I TASTED THE e$%#%#$%$ RAINBOW.
UUUUGGGGHHHHHHH. It's POST EASTER crapfest in this house-like our daughter goes to school and they send them with TONS AND TONS OF effing candy. Not bad candy either. THE GOOD STUFF. A little about me: As a child I basically bled sucrose, glucose, and dextrose. My favorite foods were snickers, skittles (duh), and Babyruth's (drools). I would do stupid crap like freeze my snickers bar and then pretend it was icecream and eat it for breakfest. Then for a snack I would eat an entire bag of skittles and mold it with my spit and make a giant saliva/skittle lollipop. And then eat it. AND THEN I would go to the penny grandma lady in our neighborhood (didn't everyone have those??) and buy craploads of candy with a bunch of coins that I stole from my mom brothers and sister. Myself and my cousins would sit for damn hours and eat nothing but CANDY. All. Day. LONG. SO YES, I LOVE CANDY. But do I eat it now? Not alot, like not really at all. I don't miss it. UNTIL. until....UNTIL Isabel brings me over a friggin' egg filled with glorious SKITTLES and gives me some. Let me tell you, it was a party in my mouth that was filled with rainbows and happiness, and my heart pretty much exploded. It was like falling in love all over again. PURE JOY. I tasted the rainbow. AND IT WAS GOOD. Although the way my kids are now, screaming and running rampant, I kind of wish I had this instead:
SKITTLE VODKA. Is your mind blown yet?

Either way-skittles are glorious. So is vodka.

poopskittles-Demi

6 comments:

Jen said...

Oh my gosh Demi...this is my favorite post you've ever done! At LAST...proof that you are HUMAN! :)
I'm just kidding...it's just that I sort of do this thing where when I'm about to eat something gloriously wonderfully delicious, I'll say (in my head of course because out loud would be really freaky) "Would Demi eat that?" Of course, probably 90% of the time the answer is "no".
Then I remember this one episode of Biggest Loser where the contestants were offered big plates of whatever they liked to eat before the show. One person had supreme chili cheese nachos. Jillian took a bite and acted like she was gagging and about to puke. I screamed at the TV "SHUT UP YOU KNOW THAT TASTES AMAZING!!!!!" I mean...maybe she was trying to prove a point or maybe nachos isn't her thing...but C'mon..that makes the rest of us NORMAL people feel like a total failure for liking something so "disgusting" as that. Ugh! Anyway, all that to say, I'm happy to know that you had a few skittles (not a whole large bag) and that you ENJOYED THEM! For crying out loud...if the stuff wasn't tasty, NO ONE would eat it. If sin wasn't fun...we'd all be perfect little angels right? :) Of course...too much of anything (especially sin) will send you right to the DANGER ZONE. So...glad you enjoyed your skittles and glad you are the strong woman that you are so the skittles won't take YOU. :)
Love you!
And Skittle Vodka? Is that for real? I might need that orange one. :)

Jen said...

and I just have to say for the record (because I'm sure millions of people will read that comment and judge me for it-HA!) but I do not advocate indulging in junk food, sin or vodka. Junk food will kill you. Sin will send you to hell and vodka will make it less miserable while it's happening. :)
Thank you Jesus for setting us FREE! :)

Demi Eliese said...

HA! love you Jen! And I would never compare myself to Jillian Michaels because that woman is CRAZAZY!!! LOL! Hey we all fall off the wagon a time or 2. Granted it was just like 10 skittles, but it took EVERYTHING i had not to steal that bad from my 2 year old. I considered it. I'm such a good mom. ;) 90% good, 10% bad. That's my ration in all things life. :)

Demi Eliese said...

I meant to steal that "BAG" from my 2 year old. LOL and yes I agree-overindulgance in anything will kill you. but a little here and there, hey, it's life and I think God enjoys it when me and hubs have martini date night. we keep that love tank FULL. tmi? lol!

stewbie2 said...

OH sweet baby Jesus in heaven--there's SKITTLE vodka??? Did you know that there's bubblegum vodka? That, my friend, is delightful (and deadly all at once). I, too, indulged i the candy of Easter. Oh well. I got over it.

Demi Eliese said...

Stewbie-I SAW THE BUBBLEGUM vodka the other day-Husband was not interested (pfft!) i WILL get it one day soon. he wanted ROOTBEER vodka, which was good-but secretly I was wishing for the gum. :/