"Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other."-Abraham Lincoln
Monday, July 18, 2011
Crap in my 3 year old's purse
And when I mean crap. I mean CRAP. Specifically "princess CRAP." She wears this said purse like she's friggin Queen of England, all up on her elbow, like all fancy. She won't go ANYWHERE without it. It is always bulging at the seams and she swears everything in it is VITAL to her very existance. Like, DON'T EVEN *THINK* about trying to clean it out, because she will cut you. While you are asleep. The only reason why I got these pics are because she was busy brushing her teeth. After dipping it in the toilet. We are not normal, and apparently have passed the not normal genes to our children. I mean, we don't brush our teeth out of the toilet or anything. We are VERY trashyFANCY parents. Ahem.
Crime Scene Evidence Submission picture #1
Ahh. You're probably like, "NBD, it's just a purse for little girls." BULGING at the seams.
Crime Scene Evidence that our kids are crazy normal and girly; submission picture #2
I know it almost looks like a vaginal opening, but I promise you it is not. I had to use herculean force to get that zipper to open. Yet she opens it with ease. Wierdo.
Crime Scene Evidence Submission picture number #3
Now, this is where things get dicey. I mean, she has a SEWING KIT in there. WTF is she going to sew, she's 3. Also please note the goggles, the 2000 NASA commemoritive coin, a reading lamp for books (???), a dollar bill, a hotel key (whatthefruit), a business card (because she does biz on the daily and absolutely needs one), gummy bears, and like 103490349 pens and pencils and markers. It's like a hookers purse. After taking this pic, I saw the future hoarder of america coming up the stairs and immediately had to stuff everything back in her purse (frantically) before she gives me evil devil laser eyes that would probably have killed me on the spot. She promptly snatched that purse out of my hands. Yikes. It was A CLOSE CALL PEOPLE.
And that my friends, is my daily dose of true crazy from this house.