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Friday, April 22, 2011

My uterus hates me.

This is the face the period monsters make as they chew on your uterine lining. And they apparently chew 1 cent gum as they pass the time because they are having a BLAST.

So. Every month as a woman we get these things called periods. (I feel like I am giving a health class already). It's basically the universe saying, "What, you don't wanna have a baby every month for the rest of your life? DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYONE IS MEANT TO BE A DUGGAR. FINE. But--I will remind you of this. Every month. And I will throw in a dash of PAIINNNN and INCONVENIENCE your way. Oh-what? You don't like wearing diapers? FINE. Shove some cardboard up your vag."

But universe-I AM NOT HAVING ANY MORE BABIES! MY COPPER IUD BLOCKS ALL THINGS BABY!!

THIS.WILL.NEVER.BE.US.NEEEVVVVVEEERRRRRR!!! We are happy with our 2 girls, thankyouverymuch!!

"OH but still. Just for trying to outsmart me with copper-I will give you even heavier PERIODS just for payback. AND MORE PAIN."

Sincerely-Your monthly bitch "friend."

P.S. When I google image searched "period evilness" ... a picture of Taco Bell comes up. ????

1 comment:

Jen said...

I have an IUD. Mirena. Have had one for 7 years now and have only had like 3 periods in all that time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! However...PMS hasn't been slowed down ANY. :(