That's just how I feel right now.
Jason had to leave me all alone to brave small group while he had to meet Alana's new teachers at school, which required that he had no kids with him. So I had to lead small group.
I'm not sure it was the best idea.
Maybe that's just the enemy making me feel horrible about it. I was actually really prepared, and really excited..I thought I had some excellent points to share, and the subject matter was just awesome. It just didn't turn out how I thought it would (I also had a screaming baby on my lap the whole time!). I got lost in my thoughts, my words, and the things I really wanted to emphasize I totally forgot. I think I even managed to say some offensive things at some point which was just the icing on the cake. It was a complete and utter disaster. I don't think anything was accomplished and honestly I feel like I let God down and that I failed. When Jason finally got home and everyone left, I just broke down and cried. He told me how proud he was of me for actually doing it, with a baby, and that my 'lesson plan' was awesome. What a guy. love him dearly, but I still feel like crap after this whole evening.
tomorrow's a new day.