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Thursday, July 24, 2008


I'm sitting here, watching Project Runway at 922 pm. I just put Isabel down, and I am enjoying my nightly glass of wine. I feel a slight cold coming on so I might dump this wine out and just go to bed. These past 3 months of my life have been so..absolutely..lifechanging. I have never endured such exhaustion as I have these past 3 months. I have been put through the ringer getting used to being a mom to a little baby again, coupled with truly has been this crazy vicious whirlwind blowing through my life. I feel like I have been spit out by a tornado every night, thus the needed glass of wine before I go to bed. Besides all the family newness, of course other "life" matters are continually happening, and for us lately is has been especially stressfull. I think this is a season of extreme growth for everyone at the Bean household. I am having a hard time balancing being a mom AND a wife..when I had Alana it was only me..I never had a husband in the mix of things. I am so absolutely blessed with Jason, he takes care of us so unselfishly, and I always feel so indebted to him. I want to make him feel like he is the #1 man in the world, it's just that sometimes mommy responsibilities creep into everything. I have started to ask God every day to show me something to do that will make him feel special, even when I don't feel like doing anything whatsoever. Sometimes I do it..and sometimes I don't. What I am so thankful for though is that this crazy love and respect that I have for him never fades away. The exhaustion still interferes though! Of which I am dealing with. I love my husband. I love my kids. Alana is as sassy as ever, and she is going to first grade soon. First grade!!! Before I know it she will be all grown up asking me to drop her off a block away from the school. AAh. Isabel is just too good for us. She has been sleeping through the night pretty much since 8 weeks. She has been completely enamoured with me (and, whynot? ha) and is really partial to just family. Strangers are not so high on her list. She has good intuition though, I have seen her with "new" people in my life that she has totally taken to. And they are good people, so I can understand that. I have also seen her with people in my life that she still has not taken to. "Stuff" is obviously there that she is not comfortable with. Again, she has great intuition.

So this has been an absolut ramble and I apologize if it made no sense! :)

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